No More Perfect Kids

perfection

It was a complete meltdown.  I had asked one simple question.  Her little 5-year-old body flung onto the floor.   I was instantly irritated as my voice kept rising higher while trying to remain calm.  My first instinct was, are you kidding me?!  My second instinct was that I needed to get this kid to bed.  Quickly, my question turned into a demand.

After 3 kids, countless tantrums (from the kids and myself), and 13 years of motherhood, why do I still let these meltdowns get to me?

Perfection.

It’s an ugly word.

I expect too much from my kids.  I ignore the cues. I knew that my little girl had been outside swimming, pretending, eating, and laughing all day long with the neighbor kids.  I knew that she was only a few days off of an ear infection and sore throat.  I knew she had not been sleeping well.  I knew she was exhausted.

Under all these circumstances, I still expected her to cooperate. Without argument. Once I realized what I was doing I backed off my demand. We cuddled.  She stopped crying and a compromise was reached.  We began again.

I’m not a perfect mom.  I don’t have perfect kids.  We get by with grace and forgiveness and lessons learned.

Don’t be too hard on your kids.

Pay attention to their cues.

Forgive.

Love.

What can you do today to extend grace to your kids?

Joining with Hearts At Home for the Third Thursday Blog Hop.  Head over to Jill’s blog to  read more on our topic this month which is also the title of Jill’s newest book (coming March 2014)!

Also sharing with The Weekend Brew,  Mom’s the Word, and The Better Mom

 

 

23 Thoughts on “No More Perfect Kids

  1. Claire on July 18, 2013 at said:

    PSHHHH!! I am the perfect child ^u^ 😛

  2. I like your what you said “We get by with grace and forgiveness and lessons learned.” Amen sister!

    Melanie @getahoot.com

  3. You said it all Cheri! Thank you…again.

  4. Oh, I struggle with perfection. Daily. It’s a constant surrender, reminding myself that Jesus said that his followers would deny themselves, take up their crosses and follow him. Denying self means saying no to my idea of perfection…in my self, in my kids, in my life.

    Great post! I found you at the Hearts for Home link-up.

    Keri @ GrowinginHisGlory

    • Thanks for visiting, Keri! I find that I usually write what I need to hear. It’s so hard in the midst of the daily crazy life as a mom to let go of perfection- I am so with you here! Thank goodness for grace. I need it every day. Blessings.

  5. So good, Cheryl! If we could just pause long enough to let grace slip into situations before they escalate, how beautiful would that be?

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! It’s my first Hearts At Home blog hop. I’m looking forward to more!

  6. Thanks for visiting, Jackie! You’re right- it would be a beautiful world 🙂 Blessings to you.

  7. Love this! Great post. Like how you started it with and anecdote, real life melt down. 🙂

  8. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, Shelly. I appreciate it! Sometimes the one melting down is me 🙂 Grace and peace to you.

  9. Yes, yes, yes. I’m in this situation too many times with my two older kids (4 & 2). And it’s because I’m expecting too much from them. Thanks for the encouragement. This hit home!

  10. Thanks for the visit, Gabrielle! It’s so easy to get caught up in our expectations, isn’t it? I have to constantly remind myself that they are just kids- not miniature adults. Thanks for the kind comment- I appreciate it.

  11. When my two oldest kids were younger, I was the parent who had to be perfect, and so did they. Thankfully, they turned out okay and I’ve learned to lighten up with the last two. Although still hard on myself at times. Thank you Cheri for linking up with The Weekend Brew!

    • I am with you here! My poor oldest child had it so much tougher than my youngest. I think time and getting older have helped me let go of the perfection a bit (I’m still a work in progress). Thanks for visiting, Barbie – I appreciate it.

  12. Yes, sometimes we moms need to back off and realize we are the adult : )
    And other times we need to insist on improved behavior. It’s a tough job being a mom, isn’t it? So glad God is able to overcome our mistakes.
    As a Grandmother now, I remember these days and lessons, and thank God for his mercy and grace both in my life and in my children’s.
    : )

  13. I find it a fine line to walk between recognizing that my kids are kids and wanting to teach them how to strive for doing the best they can do on a day to day basis.

    I know I do a better job of that with my younger kids than I did with my oldest ones… (I was lucky, though, that I was a nanny before I was a mom.) My poor husband really struggles with it. He knows what a perfectionist I am about the kids doing things the right way… their homework, their chores, things like that… but then gets flummoxed when I don’t respond that way about life itself (because, of course, they are kids and have bad days and well, don’t we all?)

    Maybe one of these days it will stop being confusing to him… but maybe, just maybe, that’s why God gave kids moms as well as dads….

    • I always tell my poor oldest child that we make all the mistakes with her so the younger kids benefit 🙂 I know, since I am an oldest child too! Thanks for stopping by.

  14. Ugh, I struggle with this too 🙁 … it is amazing (in a not so good way) what I can find myself expecting from a 2-year-old…

    • Oh, I so know what you mean. It’s so easy to forget they are kids, isn’t it? I catch myself way too many times expecting them to act like little adults!

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