on being a good mom


We were snuggled into bed with a book.  Our nightly ritual. Her sweet little face of 5 short years turns to me innocently and says, “Shannon’s Mom is a good Mom.  Her Mom never yells at her.”  Ouch.

In the stunned silence that follows, she tells me that it hurts her feelings when I get mad and yell.  I feel a taunting arrow aiming straight for my heart.  An arrow that is trying to pierce me with proof that I’m not a good mom.

Years ago I would have let that arrow burrow deep down.  I would have gotten defensive and tried to point out all of Shannon’s Mom’s faults.  I would try to prove that she wasn’t so great of a mom, either.  The difference now?


I know I am not perfect.  I am done striving for perfection.  It doesn’t exist.  It’s exhausting and it’s soul-crushing.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  Perfection is a lie.

Dear Mom, you will screw up.  You will get mad and yell.  Don’t beat yourself up. Learn from your mistakes and move forward.

Be the encourager, be compassionate, and don’t expect your kids to be perfect either. Give lots of hugs and kisses.  Be there when they hurt.

Love unconditionally – especially when your own feelings are hurt.


We finish our book.  I apologize and she says, as she always does when I screw up, “It’s ok Mom.  I still love you.”

Much Grace, my friends.

We all need it.

Sharing with The Better Mom, Mom’s the Word, Hip Homechool Moms, Titus 2 Tuesday, Fellowship Fridays, and The Weekend Brew.

14 Replies to “on being a good mom”

  1. I know I always learn from my children when I see how easily they forgive me for something I have done. Isn’t it great how God gives us those little insights to Him? Thanks so much for your encouragement Cheri. Have a blessed day.

  2. The heart of a child forgives and lives grace so much easier than a teen or young adult. There’s that period of graced emerging – where they make that choice with an adult heart – that’s a hard time for me. I miss when they were little and grace just flowed like it does out of your beautiful-hearted daughter!

    Your message is so true. We cannot beat ourselves. We repent – and show our children the way to the Mercy Seat. IF we don’t miss it, they will never know there is a way:)

    1. Yes- so true! Oh, to have the grace of a child… thanks for visiting! Blessings to you.

  3. I struggle with the volume level of my voice at times. Now I have teens who like to yell and sometimes everyone in the house is yelling just to be heard. Oh that God’s grace would cover me so my children don’t repeat the same patterns. There is forgiveness, yes, but it still makes me feel bad. 🙁

    1. Sounds like my house too, Barbie – you are not alone here! Thankfully, there is plenty of grace to go around 🙂

  4. That photo at the bottem is copyrighted by me mooooooom. Haha, just kidding. You’re welcome for the lovely flower picture ^u^

  5. I’m right next to you at Barbie’s linky. I was just thinking that your girl must feel so safe with you to be unafraid about being so honest with you.

    1. Thanks for the kind comment, Elizabeth. I hadn’t even thought of that- it makes my day 🙂 Blessings!

  6. Love this. How good is grace. We are not all perfect but we can learn from our mistakes and be the best we can be!

    1. Grace is what saves me everyday! Thanks for stopping by, Alana. Have a blessed weekend!

  7. Amen sister! I was very refreshed by your post, I too have had conversations like thi with my kiddos. Grace changes everything! I heard this quote that I love “Bad moments don’t make bad moms.” I love that you just apologized, that goes a LONG way. Great example & thanks for being honest! I found you on Fellowship Fridays…I was the entry just after you on being a Yes Mom.

    1. Thanks for visiting Amber! I love your quote. I have many bad moments but am so thankful they are covered by grace. Blessings!

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