I always want to share what is true. I don’t like to mess around with what is not.
Here’s what is true for me lately:
I’ve been battling a recurring bladder infection for the past 6 weeks. It has brought with it extreme anxiety and panic attacks. My world has been turned upside down. I’ve had so many different antibiotics along with an anxiety medicine in my system I fear I will never feel normal again. I had a terrible reaction to one antibiotic that brought on nerve and back pain. Physical therapy has helped. I’ve been to urgent care, my doctor’s office, and even the emergency room (for what turned out to be my biggest panic attack yet) more times than I can count. I’m hoping I’m through the worst of it now, but I honestly don’t know.
I keep quiet and move along with life. I hesitate to share this post. Most people have no idea. School has started and it’s been a rough first month. Between my health issues, adding a kindergartner to the mix, and just getting into a routine, I am spent.
I am tired.
I have lost the desire to write. That saddens me. I love it here. I love the community. I pray it’s only temporary as I sort things out. What has surprised me is that although my ability to put thoughts to paper has escaped me, my creativity has not. I have picked up a quilt I was working on a couple of years ago, I have crocheted some much needed new washcloths, and I have started baking a bit again (the family cheers!).
So, I guess what is true for me is that maybe I am ever so slowly starting to return to my old self. These past 6 weeks have been painful and at times downright scary. What I’m finding is that my true self has been struggling for much longer than 6 weeks. Anxiety has plagued me for far longer than I thought.
I may be tired but I am a warrior. I am battling back. I will not let it define me, but I will allow it to shape me.
So thrilled to be joining with the Five Minute Friday crew again. It’s been a few weeks. Please join us and share what is true in your life right now.