True {Five Minute Friday}

I miss you...

I always want to share what is true.  I don’t like to mess around with what is not.

Here’s what is true for me lately:

I’ve been battling a recurring bladder infection for the past 6 weeks.  It has brought with it extreme anxiety and panic attacks.  My world has been turned upside down.  I’ve had so many different antibiotics along with an anxiety medicine in my system I fear I will never feel normal again.  I had a terrible reaction to one antibiotic that brought on nerve and back pain.  Physical therapy has helped.  I’ve been to urgent care, my doctor’s office, and even the emergency room (for what turned out to be my biggest panic attack yet) more times than I can count.  I’m hoping I’m through the worst of it now, but I honestly don’t know.

I keep quiet and move along with life.  I hesitate to share this post.  Most people have no idea.  School has started and it’s been a rough first month.  Between my health issues, adding a kindergartner to the mix, and just getting into a routine, I am spent.

I am tired.

I have lost the desire to write.  That saddens me.  I love it here.  I love the community.  I pray it’s only temporary as I sort things out.  What has surprised me is that although my ability to put thoughts to paper has escaped me, my creativity has not.  I have picked up a quilt I was working on a couple of years ago, I have crocheted some much needed new washcloths, and I have started baking a bit again (the family cheers!).

So, I guess what is true for me is that maybe I am ever so slowly starting to return to my old self.  These past 6 weeks have been painful and at times downright scary.  What I’m finding is that my true self has been struggling for much longer than 6 weeks.  Anxiety has plagued me for far longer than I thought.

I may be tired but I am a warrior.  I am battling back.  I will not let it define me, but I will allow it to shape me.

True.

So thrilled to be joining with the Five Minute Friday crew again.  It’s been a few weeks.  Please join us and share what is true in your life right now.

*photo credit alessandro silipo via Compfight

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8 Responses

  1. Stephanie
    Stephanie 09/27/2013 at 8:01 am | | Reply

    You know I go through various times in my life where I am spent and tired, and find myself unable to write but pouring my creativity out into other things. When I craft, I have no mental space for writing and vice versa. I think theres something to that, yes?

    I sure hope you feel better soon. That is an awful lot to deal with. Panic attacks, illness, no fun. Said a prayer for healing for you!

  2. Emma
    Emma 09/27/2013 at 8:04 am | | Reply

    You are a warrior of God. Stand firm in Him. I love your honesty here. Be encouraged.

  3. Eileen
    Eileen 09/27/2013 at 11:15 am | | Reply

    Love your honesty. I’m sorry for all your health struggles. I can relate to those chronic bladder infections! I went through a season of those. I hate them. Love what you said here ” I will not let it define me, but I will allow it to shape me.” Yes!

  4. Karen Moon
    Karen Moon 09/27/2013 at 2:42 pm | | Reply

    Hi Cheri – had my first panic attack in 1994 – took me many years to work through them, understand them and better handle my anxiety. I wish you Godspeed in handling your’s and feeling better. Take care, Karen

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