Reach {Five Minute Friday}

It always seems beyond my reach.  Just beyond the tip of my fingers.  It’s beautiful yet fleeting.  It teases and frustrates.  Whenever I feel like I have it all figured out it morphs into an enormous mountain that I surely could never scale.

Nature & Scenery

Balance.

The balance of motherhood and life.  The balance of homeschooling while not losing my mind.

It’s a lie.  Balance is not static.  It’s a constant.  It’s moving.

Accepting the fact that certain days and seasons of life will be out of balance has been freeing.  Balance is out of my reach because in my mind balance looks like perfection.

I have let go.  I have stopped reaching for the elusive balance.  I start each morning not knowing what my day will bring.

Don’t get me wrong.  I have plans and goals and checklists.  What I’ve let go of is the striving.

Kids get sick and throw the day off.  Deadlines come.  Papers need to be written.  Math meltdowns happen.  Cuddles are the only way to calm down at times.

That’s life as a Mom.  Life as a homeschooling Mom.  Setting aside my plans of balance and embracing what comes each day.

Life filled with grace for myself and others set on my path.

Nature & Scenery

That IS within my reach.

 

Joining other writers for the flash mob of writing out of our hearts on Five Minute Fridays.  One Word.  Five minutes.  All are welcome.  Find us here.

 

 

 

True {Five Minute Friday}

I miss you...

I always want to share what is true.  I don’t like to mess around with what is not.

Here’s what is true for me lately:

I’ve been battling a recurring bladder infection for the past 6 weeks.  It has brought with it extreme anxiety and panic attacks.  My world has been turned upside down.  I’ve had so many different antibiotics along with an anxiety medicine in my system I fear I will never feel normal again.  I had a terrible reaction to one antibiotic that brought on nerve and back pain.  Physical therapy has helped.  I’ve been to urgent care, my doctor’s office, and even the emergency room (for what turned out to be my biggest panic attack yet) more times than I can count.  I’m hoping I’m through the worst of it now, but I honestly don’t know.

I keep quiet and move along with life.  I hesitate to share this post.  Most people have no idea.  School has started and it’s been a rough first month.  Between my health issues, adding a kindergartner to the mix, and just getting into a routine, I am spent.

I am tired.

I have lost the desire to write.  That saddens me.  I love it here.  I love the community.  I pray it’s only temporary as I sort things out.  What has surprised me is that although my ability to put thoughts to paper has escaped me, my creativity has not.  I have picked up a quilt I was working on a couple of years ago, I have crocheted some much needed new washcloths, and I have started baking a bit again (the family cheers!).

So, I guess what is true for me is that maybe I am ever so slowly starting to return to my old self.  These past 6 weeks have been painful and at times downright scary.  What I’m finding is that my true self has been struggling for much longer than 6 weeks.  Anxiety has plagued me for far longer than I thought.

I may be tired but I am a warrior.  I am battling back.  I will not let it define me, but I will allow it to shape me.

True.

So thrilled to be joining with the Five Minute Friday crew again.  It’s been a few weeks.  Please join us and share what is true in your life right now.

*photo credit alessandro silipo via Compfight

Small {Five Minute Friday}

small

I love small things.

Big and grand houses can be expensive and gorgeous, but I’m most comfortable in my well-loved small house.

Big crowds can be full of excitement, but give me some time out with a few dear friends or the hubby, and I can think of no better way to spend an evening.

I prefer the small farmer’s market to the large grocery store chain.

I cheer for the underdog, no matter how bleak their chances are.

Big can be loud, boisterous, intimidating.

Small is graceful.

God has used many small people over the years to do great things.  Jesus himself loved and honored little children.  He knew when the woman touched his cloak for healing.  She was small and an outcast. No one else would have taken any notice of her.

So, if you feel small today, take heart.  You are not invisible.  No ministry or act of kindness is too small.  God may want it that way.  He may be calling you to small.

Have Faith.  Small can change the world.

Joining with the flash mob of beautiful women writers over at Five Minute Friday today.  Please join us!

Also sharing with The Weekend Brew.

Lonely {Five Minute Friday}

✽ marguerites ✽ daisies ✽

Out of your loneliness I am creating community for others. ~God

God whispered those words on my heart about a month ago and they will forever be embedded in my mind.

Those 10 simple words are God inviting me to live my purpose here, in this space.

Early motherhood was very challenging for me.  I had a very anxious and uncomfortable baby that demanded much of my emotional and physical energy.  I felt so alone.

Throw 2 more kids and homeschooling into the picture and the loneliness hit with full force.  I felt shut off even more from the “real” world.  My world now revolves around my school days and my kids (which I absolutely love).  It leaves little time for relationships that aren’t real and life-giving.

I need friends who are honest, who admit their lives are messy and offer grace if my life or beliefs don’t align with theirs completely.

A sign of a true friend is that they aren’t afraid to let me see their messy house – and they don’t apologize for it.  On the flip side, I don’t feel like I have to clean my house when they are coming over either (I don’t think I’ll ever completely break this habit though- I still frantically at least clean my kitchen no matter who is coming!).

There is a deep longing inside of each of us for others to just get us.  So completely know us. Friends to love us for who we are.  Friends who aren’t afraid to call us out when they see us veering off the path.

I want this space to be a an encouragement for all.  I want to be intentional and build a community- not just followers.  Like a conversation among friends.

I want a community of grace.

I won’t be able to take all your loneliness away but I hope that I can offer you encouragement to continue on the path set before you.  Yet, challenge you to always keep growing.  God teaches and speaks through the loneliness.

Our challenges may be different and our circumstances most certainly are.

I know, even though loneliness threatens to envelop me, I am not alone.

Neither are you.

We are in this together.

Grace and peace, my friends.

Joining with the beautiful, encouraging, grace-filled community of Five Minute Friday.

*ok, I admit- I cheated a little with the time limit.  I couldn’t help myself today <smile>.

**photo credit ✿ nicolas_gent ✿ via Compfight

Story {Five Minute Friday}

:)

We are all living in a story- our story.  Do we recognize how important this story is?  Do we enter each day wondering how the story will play out in our life?  Or, do we simply trudge along.  Making it day by painstaking day.

How much more of life could be savored if we embraced the amazing gift of this story.

every. single. day.

We are living in the greatest love story of all.  We have a hero and we know the enemy.  We know that good, and justice, and love wins in the end.  We know the end to this love story.  We forget though.  We forget our part in it.  We let the mundane and the ordinary weigh us down.

What would happen if we instead embrace the ordinary for the beauty of routine?  Or find the sacred in the mundane?  How about we take all the seemingly insignificant parts of our days and live them with intention.  Live them knowing that everything is being woven together in the tapestry called our life.

Live because you are living in the greatest story ever told.

The point is the love story.  We live in a love story in the midst of war. ~John Eldredge

Joining once more with the beautiful ladies over at Five Minute Fridays.  Check some more stories out for wonderful encouragement!

 

*photo creditCreative Commons License seyed mostafa zamani via Compfight